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AnimalEFT.org
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Pet
Bereavement
Communicating
With Animals
Training
Animals & Competing With Animals
When
Your Animal Friend Has A Problem Or Illness
Bereavement
The
death of a companion can devastate. Unfortunately, many times this
is made worse by people who do not understand the depth of trauma
and have an unhelpful "but it's just a (dog/cat/horse/etc),
not a human!" type of attitude, even extending to some
healing professionals.
I have recently worked with my own companion bereavement issues,
and also with that of others, and have noted with interest that
the processes involved are EXACTLY the same as in any other form
of deep trauma, be it rape, abuse, or surviving a disaster, or
having had terrible experiences in a war.
It is therefore little surprise to also note that the symptoms
experienced by the bereaved person are classical PTSD - Post
Traumatic Stress Disorder. Sleeplessness, nightmares, depression,
neuro-somatic illness, mood swings are all to be found.
The fact is that bereavement that has led to extraordinary
problems in it's wake, way above and beyond just a deep sadness at
the passing of the companion, has somewhere moments of intense
shock or stress so profound that the mind simply couldn't cope
with it at the time. And, contrary to public belief,
"time" does not heal such trauma.
For example, one lady who had been unable to overcome her
bereavement related problems for five years, told me that she
remembered telephoning the veterinary surgeon to find out when she
could collect her dog, only to be told "Oh haven't they told
you, it died under the anaesthetic." The next thing she
remembered was standing in the surgery, looking down at the body
of her dog laid out on the top of a refrigerator in a back
room.
There was a huge piece missing from the memory; she could not
remember how she got to the surgery, or any detail at all from
what happened in between the telephone moment and the moment when
she "woke up" in the surgery.
I helped her reconstruct the memory by tapping from one stage to
another, relieving the painful emotions each step of the way. By
the time we were done, she could remember everything clearly, had
come to many new insights, most notably that it had not been her
fault that this terrible thing happened, and felt "a
tremendous sense of peace and relief". Further, she was now
able to remember "the good times", something that had
been denied to her for so long because of the trauma and the
intense grief and pain involved. She went on to finally let go of
the dog's collar, bedding and lead, and planted a rose in her
garden in the memory of her dog - steps that she could not have
taken before because the trauma was frozen in time in her
mind.
The
Photograph Release
If
someone is too emotional or distressed to talk, a gentle and very
magical way of beginning to unblock the traumas and releasing all
the aspects of severe grief is to just look at or hold a
photograph of the companion, and to tap without saying anything at
all, until such time as a feeling of peace and resolution has
arrived. After an initial session which will take care of the most
important aspects, this should be repeated at least once a day for
a week, because so many different aspects of grief and loss are
involved. The treatment can be concluded when there is no more
deep sadness, but only feelings of love and gratitude when focusing
on the photograph and the memories of the
companion.
Bereavement Amongst Companions
All
companions suffer from bereavement too. Whether it is an owner who
dies or a divorce, or another animal from the household leaves,
this is very stressful for dogs, cats and horses alike.
Proxy tapping and tapping both can help calm the animal, boost
it's auto-immune system and make it feel better; and, of course,
the owner's own calm state of mind is a great help too.
Naturally,
and left to our own devices, we communicate well and clearly with
our companions and they understand us and communicate to us
clearly in return.
Stress,
upset, past problems and experiences, and "beliefs" can
and do get in the way of this flow of communication and energy,
and this is where Meridian Therapies can help dramatically.
Tapping for such things as,
-
"I
don't know what I need to do to communicate with animals more clearly"
-
"I
don't understand why my companion does what they do"
-
"I
don't know what's blocking me from communicating with animals more
clearly"
-
"I
release all experiences and learnings that are blocking flow
of communication and of love between me and my companion"
or even
-
"I
don't believe that I can communicate directly with animals and that my
companion understands me"
....
can bring amazing revelations and a quantum leap in the depth of
your relationship.
With
rescued animals and those who had traumatic early experiences
especially, the problem can be the companion's beliefs about
people. Whether the issue is over-attachment, general fear and
anxiety about the world at large, or lack of trust in humanity,
surrogate or proxy-tapping can help clear some of the emotional
debris that rescued animals invariably carry over from their past.
Whether
it's gymkhanas, competitive obedience, breed showing or show
jumping, whenever we endeavor to work as a team with our
companions, our own state of mind has EVERYTHING to do with the
team's performance.
EFT, for example, can help with basic issues such as ring nerves
which accounts for about 75% of all failures and problems during
any kind of competition or performance; on a deeper level, it can
help with beliefs such as "We'll never be good enough"
and "I'm not a winner" and the like, which, if held by
the human part of the team, will lead to self sabotage and
problems of all kinds.
Like all Meridian Therapies, EFT is also extremely effective to
apply to specific problems, be they training or attitude problems.
One lady had given up trying to train her dog not to bark in the
garden at night which had brought about complaints from neighbors,
but in spite of her best efforts over a period of three years, the
dog would still spook at the slightest crackle in the leaves or
night noise and start to bark uncontrollably.
She tapped for both the dog, "Even though I'm afraid in the
dark" and "If I bark, nothing bad will happen to
me", as well as for herself, "Even though I've tried
everything to stop her from barking and failed miserably".
Other issues arose along the line, but the dog and the lady both
began to relax after just a few applications, and the dog has not
barked in the garden at night for a month now - thus approached
from both angles, the problem was resolved successfully.
Another lady always found a specific competitive obedience
exercise especially stressful, and had no confidence in either her
teaching of it, nor the dog's ability to perform it. She tapped
herself for, "Even though scent is the most difficult
exercise there is" and came upon a memory from many years
ago, when she was a beginner, and had been told these very words
by her instructor at the time.
Once this was released through the tapping, she became aware of
where she had been going wrong all this time, and corrected it.
She then tapped the dog by proxy for, "Even though I've been
taught the wrong way for three years" and, between the two of
them, they recovered their confidence in their respective
abilites, their trust in each other, and now the exercise no
longer holds any challenges and they have become a truly
"winning team".
When
Your Animal Friend Has A Problem Or Illness
It can
be very hard on the owner or caretaker of an animal when ...
-
the
companion is sick or suffering;
-
the
physical attributes of taking care of an ill companion become
exhausting
-
behaviour
problems cause constant stress, strife and unhappiness
-
problems
are long standing or chronic in nature, or cannot ever get any
better.
Especially
when an animal is living with someone who is a healer, behaviour
specialist or supposed to be "an expert" on problems,
there can be a feeling of hopelessness and of "somehow having
failed in some way" experienced by the owner. This is a very
common problem and is shared by parents of ill or disabled
children, too.
EFT and
other meridian therapies can be a true godsend to alleviate stress
and strain for the owner, thus allowing them to be more
resourceful, more centered, more grounded and more positive and
proactive in their daily dealings with the problems.
A good
suggestion for dealing with problems of this nature is to ask,
"How do *I* feel about my animal having this problem?"
Answers
can vary, from "sad" to "disappointed", from
"very angry" to "terribly helpless" and many,
many other deep and often desolately destructive emotions.
For the
owner to deal with these emotions and to be able to release them
is a true gift and can truly help both the owner and their animal,
to cope with the circumstances better and to find courage and
peace to continue on.
Past
Traumas
Another
aspect which can and does cause many companion owners intense pain
are "old" injuries and past traumas revolving around
decisions they might have made regarding their animals; other
animals who died or perhaps were put to sleep; and similar aspects
of a traumatic nature.
Every
time such a situation re-occurs, or even threatens to re-occur,
the old traumas come to the fore again and can make it very
difficult to respond to current challenges or situations.
Generally,
people or therapists who are not pet owners themselves, have no
appreciation for the depth of pain nor the depth of trauma
involved, and so it is likely that such old traumas were never
really fully addressed at the time. Re-visiting such times using
EFT in order to clear them and release the negative emotions can
often be most tremendously helpful in being able to overcome
current challenges.
Articles
On This Page Courtesy Silvia Hartmann
More
Articles & Patterns for Animals & Peolple on
http://SilviaHartmann.com
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